Princess of Disaster

People used to tell me I was a sweet, wonderful, loving person. They also used to tell me to "be myself."

Now I'm a bitter, whiny bitch and no one says either of those things to me anymore.

Hmmm.

Posted via Journaler.

So. A few changes.

I've been diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease. It's an autoimmune thyroid thing. Go look it up if you want, but be warned: wikipedia & webmd do not the whole picture paint.

I had to take an extended unpaid leave of absence from work to try to get better. They let me take it because I could prove it was a medical problem, but I couldn't get disability. Enter that 6-month emergency fund that people say you should have. Now skip ahead about 9 months and add a bunch of doctor bills that insurance won't cover: I'm still not better. Now for the pièce de résistance: my parents are selling the house and moving back to Mississippi. I can't work, can't afford to keep my apartment. Finally I grit my teeth and quit my job.

That was about a week ago. We're moving in a few weeks- both the house and my apartment. Mom is having minor, outpatient knee surgery in the morning. I'm supposed to be packing up my apartment, but so far all I've done is straighten up, and precious little of that.

There are a few good points. I've lost about 50 lbs, and I've almost quit smoking. The new place is lovely and peaceful and may very well do wonders for my health. I've become a fairly serious crocheter, to the point where I fantasize about having the energy to go to fiber festivals and become a designer and actually make a living at it.

But most of the time, I'm exhausted and stressed out and really would just rather be left alone with my yarn and my hooks. I'm mostly on Twitter these days, but I follow a lot of crochet bigshots (shut up) over there and I'm finding that my state of mind is not always apt to produce tweets that are most likely to recommend me. I speak primarily of the whiny bitchiness that has garnered me such acclaim in the masochistic insomniac community.

So I remembered LJ, and decided I would come vent my spleen here when needed. Which, unfortunately, may be quite a lot in the coming weeks. Sorry about that. :/

Posted via Journaler.

Instructions:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
(use Wikipedia if you don't know what something is)
4) italicize ones you haven't eaten but WANT TO TRY
5) Leave the ones you haven't tried, but are indifferent about

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

I phail on the Indian food.  And I crossed out more than I expected; maybe it's a function of getting older, but I don't feel as obligated to prove I'm up for ANYTHING, you know?  So no insects or horse meat for me, thx.  Ditto for things that could actually kill me (pufferfish) or just plain scare my brain (absinthe).  Some things I know I literally wouldn't be able to get down, like the Scotch bonnet and Phaal (I tried a raw serrano pepper recently, having somehow gotten the idea they were LESS hot than jalapenos... T_T).  The other strike-throughs may be attributed to my feeling a little queasy today.  Some things I figure I must have had at some point, like when I was a kid, but I'm not totally sure.  I have this niggling feeling I've had snake at some point, but I'm damned if I can remember it.

BTW, Jamaican Blue Mountain is, from what I hear, waaay overrated.  Just because it's super-rare doesn't mean it's super-good. 

Anyway, #63?  Is that a typo?  Wikipedia says Kaolin (redirects to Kaolinite) is a mineral used in, among other things, toothpaste, ceramics, light bulbs, and Kaopectate.  WTF?  "Er... yes, I have eaten toothpaste, for I was once a child, and yes, I have taken Kaopectate, for I have had occasion to, not that it's any of your business.  But I have never eaten, nor have I ever tried to eat a light bulb."...?

I'm thinking maybe some kind of health spa where they feed you yummy food that is actually good for you. Because going off my new diet has me seriously fux0red.

Other considerations:

- Lots of water (pool, hot tub, maybe also a natural body of water of some kind)
- Massages & other spa fun
- Something to do other than sit on my ass because exercise is healthy and I really need some (but not the "don't forget to breathe!" kind. Yoga, walking around someplace pretty, that kind of thing.)
- Less than a day's drive from Houston. Dallas or San Antonio area is not too far. El Paso is.
- Single-gal friendly. God save me from another all-inclusive resort with couples, couples everywhere.

Now, how does one go about finding a place like that??

You are Judgement

Happiness, Content, Joy.

Judgment is related to the Hebrew letter Shin, which is fiery and spiritual. A break from the past, going forward.

With Fire as its ruling element, Judgement is about rebirth or ressurection. The idea of Judgement day is that the dead rise, their sins are forgiven, and they move onto heaven. The Judgement card is similar, it asks the resurrection to summon the past, forgive it, and let it go. There are wounds from the past that we never let heal, sins we've committed that we refuse to forgive, bad habits we haven't the courage to lose. Judgement advises us to finally face these, recognize that the past is past, and put them to rest, absolutely and irrevocably. This is also a card of healing, quite literally from an accident or illness, as well as a card signaling great transformation, renewal, change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

This meme sucks, seriously. It's hilariously bad. But you gotta love these results!

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun quizzes for blog & myspace

Ganked from blushy bride valgrl. This one comes to you on cool scrolly parchment, and I'm a sucker for stuff like that.

Lets101 Quizzes - blog quizzes

However... "Loves to bust." ... Er? I can has extra word, maybe?

And, since I'm on the cusp of the cusp:

Lets101 Quizzes - Love Quizzes

Let me splain. ... No, there is too much. Let me sum up. ... No, screw that. Why am I asking you to let me do anything? This is my journal, dammit.

chuckybones & valgrl got hitched, and it was awesome. I took 2 rolls of film, but I've since gotten requests for pictures of me in the sari I wore, and I don't have any. But I know somebody out there must have one (markbhall, I'm looking at you). I can has coppeh?

Holy crap, has it been that long? Oops. Honestly, though, posting is one of the last things I've felt like doing. So sleepy all the time. But at least the headaches are better. And now your meme, stale though it be:

( One Word Only )

I changed my answer to #15 up there to "mean", figuring ppl would've gotten that I'm unenergetic by now, but then changed it back. Because sometimes, especially lately, I can probably seem pretty mean. Bitchy, more like. I don't mean to be, mostly. It's a defense mechanism, I guess. And I'm tired enough to make it very unwise to try to explain it (or understand it) any further.

End-of-month craziness is over for me, and hints of more craziness are already wafting up the trail. And I need a vacation.

The apartment's getting messy again, but not on an epic scale yet. My next energy spurt should be spent dealing with that.

The weekend was kind of a wash. I had to work Saturday, then crashed that night and missed octoberdreaming's shindig. :( I do believe I needed the rest, however. Spent yesterday sleeping and reading the fruits of my latest manga binge. MUST STOP BUYING MANGA. CAN NOT STOP BUYING MANGA. GAH. Hate reading manga on the computer, though, so I don't download much. This is one of the reasons I'm thinking of buying my cousin's laptop off him. Mm, couchsurfing...
.

Oh yeah, I finished Kingdom Hearts last night!!! I'm so proud. Even though it probably took me twice as long as it would have a normal gamer. I hear there's a "secret ending" which you have to kill every big badass boss in the universe to get to, something that, for a person of my skilz, may actually be impossible. So I haven't decided if I'm up for that yet. Besides, the non-secret ending was pretty damn satisfying, and I think I'd maintain that opinion even if there weren't a sequel. Which I'm sure is still hovering around the $50 range, so I won't be getting it for awhile. But I've got plenty of other neglected gamey love sitting in the armoire to keep me busy, so no worries.

Still, just the words "secret ending" make me feel a little bit giddy. Mmm. XD